Thank you for sharing this. Dezi may have anxiety but she is also clearly a very wise pooch.
My dog is a big hot mess. And to make it more problematic, she presents as a perfectly lovely big beautiful affectionate fuzzball - until she doesn't. That's when she randomly lurches at unsuspecting dogs and scares the crap out of me. So, now we are both a big hot mess. But for some reason we've chosen each other in this chapter, so, we muddle along.
You know what? Don't feel bad because Dezi is very unpredictable on a leash as well. Off leash, she's every dog's best friend but on leash, I'm on high alert at all times because she will randomly lunge at dog's, too. I think it might be a protective thing. They feel like they have to protect us maybe?
Regardless, we sure love our hot messes, don't we!
Definitely love them! And as far as humans go right now anyone who’s not a big hot mess is just not paying attention! Our animals’ sensitivities to the unacceptable just might be way ahead of ours!
I didn’t realize Dezi was so young when your son died. So much makes sense now. Not just Dezi’s anxiety, but also your lack of desire to travel. You two are so bonded over that tragedy. You feel responsible for each other, to hold that grief together. All is exactly as it should be.
And, her love growl, I heard it in my head as I read that part. So precious!
Maisy, my rescue pup is a very anxious dog. From the day I met her at 4 months old as she sat in the living room of her foster mom and dad, trembling uncontrollably, until today, where 6 years later she isn't nearly as fearful, but is still what I'd describe as terribly anxious, we speak a language of gentleness and patience. She's the most tender dog I've ever had, and I absolutely love her. She's very fond of her Shih-tzu big brother, and has one very best friend named Buddy who's at least 4 times her size and a look alike. They adore each other. Maisy thinks they're exactly the same size. There are times when something sets her off and she acts fearful of me, spooked. I can't explain it, but I give her a lot of space and gentleness. I'm over the moon in love with her. She knows very well that I'm her person.
Yes, we're definitely a team. That little girl. Goddess, I love her. I've loved all of my dogs but there's something about Maisy that is without compare. When I met her, I knew we were meant to be. She's a doll.
Wow, such a powerful story and such a clear illustration of how dogs truly are emotional support. My pit bull, Ms Fanny Wiggles, is terrified of people (rightly so, having come from a dog pound in Tennessee), but she is also anxious about pretty much any sudden movement/noise/commotion. She shakes uncontrollably and seems blind/deaf to anything I can do for her in the way of comfort. Early on, car rides were the worst - she shook and vomited. About a year after we adopted her, we adopted a puppy named Otis (I fostered his parvo-infected litter of which only half survived). Otis loves all people to a ridiculous extent. From the moment he became ours, he has been under Fanny's rule, but also been her emotional support dog. She rides in cars fearlessly if he is there, even walks down the sidewalk past people if he is beside her. We hadn't adopted him to be her emotional support but that is what he has turned out to be.
My fella Hawkeye used to go on hikes only if his best dog-friend was with us. And when that dog-friend moved into a new house, he was anxious about the place until Hawkeye came over and they explored all the rooms together. Totally emotional co-support dogs!
Awww I love that! It sounds so much like Dezi and Roxy. I think it's adorable that dogs can provide each other with courage. Thanks for sharing this Zach 💓
I passionately love dogs always have always will and I have my little doggy toy poodle mix, but I don’t know what she’s mixed with. She’s about 13 and her name is Nikki.
I so want to meet Dezi. She’s proven to be a tough cookie who you can rely on even though you had a tragic start.
I believe our last Springer, Simon, died of a broken heart and from absorbing my stress. We moved across country, not knowing a soul, and he didn’t see his human bro and sis except on holidays. New house, no kids and mama (me) got horrible depression then breast cancer. Simon became anxious. A once friendly dog started barking at everyone who walked by. A week after my radiation treatment ended Simon passed away. It was a fast illness. Infection and he was done. He was only 11- young for a Springer to pass.
Oh wow 🙁 I can see how you would think he took on too much of your stress, given the timing of his death. Ugh. Dogs do SO much to make sure humans know they love us. You know what they say about a dog’s purpose…maybe that was his purpose…to make sure you were going to be okay before he allowed himself to let go. I dunno, it’s all just too damn sad that they’re meant to live shorter lives than us. I hate that we have to commit to that when we commit to letting dogs into our hearts.
Pretty sure dogs' anxiety issues can be as mysterious as humans', although I also suspect Dezi has indeed taken on some of your trauma — for which you should feel NO guilt (that won't help at all, and it's mistaken). Dogs don't arrive on Earth as blank slates any more than humans do. But it shouldn't be a surprise that they can vibe with each other in ways they can't with us; they're pack animals after all.
It's so interesting to speculate and see how their behaviors change depending on their surroundings and who they're with. Overall, I'm grateful for her quirks. She keeps life spicy 💖
Yes indeed. My border collie Maggie also has an anxiety problem which I don’t have time to write about today. HHowever, I would really recommend a lovely lady in Scotland who is a certified dog whisperer. Her name is Julie Cluney. I can send you her contact if you want it.
Is she different than Cesar Milan? In Dezi's early days I watched what felt like every dog behavior video on the internet lol. I think I've resigned myself to understanding she has quirks and embracing them as part of life.
I could have written a lot. But that just summed up what I was feeling. 😀🙁😭 on rotation while reading. I know your son is resting, waiting for you at the end💓
Kristi, the loss of your son and its disruptive consequences must indeed have had a profound effect on Dezi. Dogs are such sensitive creatures. Anyone in your position would have expressed shock and grief. I hope you do not seriously entertain the notion that you “did” anything to her. It’s clear you love her deeply and give her a happy life. As for fearful dogs, our Casey had a noisy horror of of horses and could smell one from around the corner. I could barely restrain him when horse-rage broke over him. He was a rescue, not traumatized, as far as we knew. We have no idea why horses got him going.
It's so interesting. Horses of all things? Especially since he was a total city dog. Must have been surprising to experience that for the first time with him, hey?
Dezi is very curious about horses. I've seen her get in a play bow in front of one, as if the horse should play with her 😁
I have fostered many dogs and raised two kids through their teens. The kids were diagnosed with ADHD in their teens. One hyperactive. One inattentive. Both had anxiety. Environment? Probably. Genetics? Most likely. Of the 25 dogs we fostered, not one had the same personality. Some were hyperactive. Some low energy. Some experienced profound separation anxiety. Others managed their situations without notice. Some developed quirks as they aged. Who knows with Dezi? She's as unique as a snowflake.
Unique as a snowflake...I love that 😊 She certainly is.
I'm actually pretty grateful that she's a challenge because it keeps me fully engaged with her and present in every moment. I could never be one of those listless humans looking at my cell phone while walking a dog! She's too unpredictable for that.
I would agree with you that the loss of your son and the emotional journey you were faced with absolutely had an impact on Dezi and her behaviors. Dog daycares are not all created equal, and not every dog enjoys them, in fact I believe that many dogs subject to routine day care drop offs are negatively affected by that human need to throw many strange dogs into a group "play" situation. Dogs are not humans, our behaviors and social needs are as different as black and white. You are on point in recognizing and working to learn Dezi's emotional swings. Our best friends can be a challenge to understand.
Thank you Sandra. She has definitely been the most challenging dog I've owned. It's been a unique journey with her but I kind of wouldn't trade it for anything. Her quirks keep me engaged and mindful.
Thank you for sharing this. Dezi may have anxiety but she is also clearly a very wise pooch.
My dog is a big hot mess. And to make it more problematic, she presents as a perfectly lovely big beautiful affectionate fuzzball - until she doesn't. That's when she randomly lurches at unsuspecting dogs and scares the crap out of me. So, now we are both a big hot mess. But for some reason we've chosen each other in this chapter, so, we muddle along.
You know what? Don't feel bad because Dezi is very unpredictable on a leash as well. Off leash, she's every dog's best friend but on leash, I'm on high alert at all times because she will randomly lunge at dog's, too. I think it might be a protective thing. They feel like they have to protect us maybe?
Regardless, we sure love our hot messes, don't we!
Definitely love them! And as far as humans go right now anyone who’s not a big hot mess is just not paying attention! Our animals’ sensitivities to the unacceptable just might be way ahead of ours!
I didn’t realize Dezi was so young when your son died. So much makes sense now. Not just Dezi’s anxiety, but also your lack of desire to travel. You two are so bonded over that tragedy. You feel responsible for each other, to hold that grief together. All is exactly as it should be.
And, her love growl, I heard it in my head as I read that part. So precious!
Yup, she was brand new in my life when everything changed ❤️ And I'm quite content just living my big little life with her!
Lol her growl...it is the CUTEST thing! I've been trying to capture it on video for years but she knows when the camera comes out 😁 Turd.
Tosha has a Chewbacca growl that is absolutely adorable. Have never caught it on video either. She is very selective about when it comes out.
Maisy, my rescue pup is a very anxious dog. From the day I met her at 4 months old as she sat in the living room of her foster mom and dad, trembling uncontrollably, until today, where 6 years later she isn't nearly as fearful, but is still what I'd describe as terribly anxious, we speak a language of gentleness and patience. She's the most tender dog I've ever had, and I absolutely love her. She's very fond of her Shih-tzu big brother, and has one very best friend named Buddy who's at least 4 times her size and a look alike. They adore each other. Maisy thinks they're exactly the same size. There are times when something sets her off and she acts fearful of me, spooked. I can't explain it, but I give her a lot of space and gentleness. I'm over the moon in love with her. She knows very well that I'm her person.
I love this so much. Isn't it amazing to just know you're the person she wants and needs to be with?
I'm glad she's got her best friends, too. It's so important for their social life.
Yes, we're definitely a team. That little girl. Goddess, I love her. I've loved all of my dogs but there's something about Maisy that is without compare. When I met her, I knew we were meant to be. She's a doll.
Wow, such a powerful story and such a clear illustration of how dogs truly are emotional support. My pit bull, Ms Fanny Wiggles, is terrified of people (rightly so, having come from a dog pound in Tennessee), but she is also anxious about pretty much any sudden movement/noise/commotion. She shakes uncontrollably and seems blind/deaf to anything I can do for her in the way of comfort. Early on, car rides were the worst - she shook and vomited. About a year after we adopted her, we adopted a puppy named Otis (I fostered his parvo-infected litter of which only half survived). Otis loves all people to a ridiculous extent. From the moment he became ours, he has been under Fanny's rule, but also been her emotional support dog. She rides in cars fearlessly if he is there, even walks down the sidewalk past people if he is beside her. We hadn't adopted him to be her emotional support but that is what he has turned out to be.
Cara, I love this sooooooo much for her! It's amazing how much he improved her quality of life just by existing ❤️❤️❤️
What an awesome "tail" of companionship!
Dezi is truly you dog person!
My fella Hawkeye used to go on hikes only if his best dog-friend was with us. And when that dog-friend moved into a new house, he was anxious about the place until Hawkeye came over and they explored all the rooms together. Totally emotional co-support dogs!
Awww I love that! It sounds so much like Dezi and Roxy. I think it's adorable that dogs can provide each other with courage. Thanks for sharing this Zach 💓
I passionately love dogs always have always will and I have my little doggy toy poodle mix, but I don’t know what she’s mixed with. She’s about 13 and her name is Nikki.
I so want to meet Dezi. She’s proven to be a tough cookie who you can rely on even though you had a tragic start.
I believe our last Springer, Simon, died of a broken heart and from absorbing my stress. We moved across country, not knowing a soul, and he didn’t see his human bro and sis except on holidays. New house, no kids and mama (me) got horrible depression then breast cancer. Simon became anxious. A once friendly dog started barking at everyone who walked by. A week after my radiation treatment ended Simon passed away. It was a fast illness. Infection and he was done. He was only 11- young for a Springer to pass.
Oh wow 🙁 I can see how you would think he took on too much of your stress, given the timing of his death. Ugh. Dogs do SO much to make sure humans know they love us. You know what they say about a dog’s purpose…maybe that was his purpose…to make sure you were going to be okay before he allowed himself to let go. I dunno, it’s all just too damn sad that they’re meant to live shorter lives than us. I hate that we have to commit to that when we commit to letting dogs into our hearts.
Between this and Robin’s essay today I’m crying. All dogs are therapy dogs. The only difference is that some have a piece of paper and a vest.
Amen sister! Go hug Apollo 💖
Totally understandable that you can’t foster another dog. It would be a real commitment.
But. You are your dog’s emotional support human, so there’s that.
I guess we're both serving the same purpose for each other 😊
Pretty sure dogs' anxiety issues can be as mysterious as humans', although I also suspect Dezi has indeed taken on some of your trauma — for which you should feel NO guilt (that won't help at all, and it's mistaken). Dogs don't arrive on Earth as blank slates any more than humans do. But it shouldn't be a surprise that they can vibe with each other in ways they can't with us; they're pack animals after all.
It's so interesting to speculate and see how their behaviors change depending on their surroundings and who they're with. Overall, I'm grateful for her quirks. She keeps life spicy 💖
Yes indeed. My border collie Maggie also has an anxiety problem which I don’t have time to write about today. HHowever, I would really recommend a lovely lady in Scotland who is a certified dog whisperer. Her name is Julie Cluney. I can send you her contact if you want it.
Is she different than Cesar Milan? In Dezi's early days I watched what felt like every dog behavior video on the internet lol. I think I've resigned myself to understanding she has quirks and embracing them as part of life.
This story was so bitter sweet.
Perfect description for how my life has been with Dezi and without my boy. Definitely bittersweet ❤️
I could have written a lot. But that just summed up what I was feeling. 😀🙁😭 on rotation while reading. I know your son is resting, waiting for you at the end💓
Kristi, the loss of your son and its disruptive consequences must indeed have had a profound effect on Dezi. Dogs are such sensitive creatures. Anyone in your position would have expressed shock and grief. I hope you do not seriously entertain the notion that you “did” anything to her. It’s clear you love her deeply and give her a happy life. As for fearful dogs, our Casey had a noisy horror of of horses and could smell one from around the corner. I could barely restrain him when horse-rage broke over him. He was a rescue, not traumatized, as far as we knew. We have no idea why horses got him going.
It's so interesting. Horses of all things? Especially since he was a total city dog. Must have been surprising to experience that for the first time with him, hey?
Dezi is very curious about horses. I've seen her get in a play bow in front of one, as if the horse should play with her 😁
Interesting! I always have the feeling my horses are more scared of the dogs than other way around..
I could see that too. That's when it gets dangerous because we don't know when a horse might haul off and kick!
I have fostered many dogs and raised two kids through their teens. The kids were diagnosed with ADHD in their teens. One hyperactive. One inattentive. Both had anxiety. Environment? Probably. Genetics? Most likely. Of the 25 dogs we fostered, not one had the same personality. Some were hyperactive. Some low energy. Some experienced profound separation anxiety. Others managed their situations without notice. Some developed quirks as they aged. Who knows with Dezi? She's as unique as a snowflake.
Unique as a snowflake...I love that 😊 She certainly is.
I'm actually pretty grateful that she's a challenge because it keeps me fully engaged with her and present in every moment. I could never be one of those listless humans looking at my cell phone while walking a dog! She's too unpredictable for that.
I totally get you!
I behave very suspiciously toward humans without an animal by their side too. Dezi is obviously very intelligent.
Hahahahaa GREAT point! And same!!
I would agree with you that the loss of your son and the emotional journey you were faced with absolutely had an impact on Dezi and her behaviors. Dog daycares are not all created equal, and not every dog enjoys them, in fact I believe that many dogs subject to routine day care drop offs are negatively affected by that human need to throw many strange dogs into a group "play" situation. Dogs are not humans, our behaviors and social needs are as different as black and white. You are on point in recognizing and working to learn Dezi's emotional swings. Our best friends can be a challenge to understand.
Thank you Sandra. She has definitely been the most challenging dog I've owned. It's been a unique journey with her but I kind of wouldn't trade it for anything. Her quirks keep me engaged and mindful.