The Most Fun You’ll Ever Have On Amazon. Period.
When it's an "Add To Cart" kind of day.
Winter is coming.
We can’t avoid it no matter what. However, there’s one foolproof way to not just tolerate but actually enjoy your life…even when it drops into a polar vortex
I live in Canada. When it’s -30 Celsius with wind chills around -40 and -50, our dogs still need to pee. Even worse, poop.
Contrary to what you might think, when you touch something at those temperatures, it BURNS…not freezes. Can you imagine trying to concentrate on dropping a load while your feet are sticking to the ground and burning?
Enter Amazon on a Saturday night, because we humans also don’t feel like going out in a polar vortex. All we want to do is sit in front of our laptops scarfing down banana muffins while shopping online.
(No, silly. I don’t do the actual baking.)
Anyway, I had no idea what kind of entertainment I was in for when I delved into shopping for dog boots on Amazon. Shut off your Netflix now because you can easily waste two hours surfing dog boot reviews.
First of all……
…that dog either needs a new owner or a new chair to sit on. Nobody should humiliate Fido like this.
And while the title of this next review was “Love, love, love them!!” this photo screams otherwise. He is oozing with doggy shame.
But then we have Rusty, and somehow I don’t think Rusty even cares whether or not he’s wearing dog boots because he’s the boss of winter. Obviously.
I love how people care about an Amazon review enough to actually take pictures to post with it. This is the kind of time-wasting I live for. The photos alone are pure gold.
The Written Reviews
I had a hard time deciding which was more entertaining — the photos or the written reviews.
One woman started off her review with, “Super comfy!”
How do you know, lady? You’ve tried them on your two-inch feet, have you?
Here are some of the most entertaining quotes pulled from actual reviews:
“If you live in the country like us and your dog runs through woods keep an eye out and your boot count going.”
“We have a lab chihuahua mix dog. ( she’s a rescue from Arizona) we did not mix the two breeds!” << I love how she felt a need to explain that her dog’s breed is not her fault.
“My dog HATES these, but they have worked well for me so far!”
“They fit really bigger than they pretend.”
“My dog has no issues with walking in them, my cats however are rendered paralyzed and flop over on their sides when I put them on them lol.”
“He hates booties, sweaters, jackets etc. So I was pretty surprised when he wasn’t gnawing at the straps or giving me the “I hate you dad” look.”
“My mother was only in snow for three weeks so we will never have another opportunity to use them.” (I don’t know what the mother has to do with dog boots)
“My dog won’t wear them but I love them anyway. They look cute on the bottom of her clothing rack.”
For every person who chooses to purchase pet apparel, a humiliated dog is wondering WTF is going on. Humans don’t deserve dogs and dogs definitely don’t deserve this kind of shame 🤣
In the end, I never did end up purchasing dog boots but I did laugh until tears streamed down my face looking at videos and photos. Amazon is always a great pick-me-up on an otherwise boring, polar vortex kind of day.
I suppose this is what they call shopping therapy?
Does your dog have boots or other humiliating gear you subject them to? How’s it working out for you?
Baby Girl Dog has an entire wardrobe of doggie jackets and wearable blankets that I made for her, because she doesn't have a lot of fur and she chills easily. If commercially made dog clothes fit her (she's a disabled mixed breed dog, so that's why I took up just making clothes for her in the first place), she'd probably be the cutest thing in a puffy dog parka that you ever saw!
I never tried booties, but it gets pretty cold here in Michigan. I bought a few different jackets for my elderly Beagle, Annabelle. She was like Houdini getting out of a straight jacket. I would send her outside in a coat, and she would return naked. Her next outing would be in one of her backup jackets while I plodded around in my own snow boots looking for the one she cast off last time. I miss her antics.