What Happens When You Approach A Dog Without Asking?

An open rant from an often frustrated dog mom.

Normally I like to keep dog stuff uplifting, cute, and joyful. But today I feel it’s appropriate to share a cautionary piece of advice after experiencing complete disregard for my dog’s personal boundaries.

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Dog parents, how many of you wish you could write the following letter and post it up on every fire hydrant in your neighborhood?

Dear, random guy who thinks all dogs automatically love you.

My dog doesn’t. Trust and believe me when I say, "Please DO NOT approach my dog!”

Signed, frustrated dog mom.

Regardless of whether or not a dog is wearing a harness that explicitly says ‘DO NOT PET’, nobody should approach someone else’s dog without permission.

Why?

Because you have no clue if it struggles with anxiety triggers.

It doesn’t matter if the dog appears well-adjusted from a distance, as a stranger you have no idea what will set off a reaction.

Here’s a real-life example:

My dog, Dezi, is one of the kindest and most loving dogs I’ve ever owned. She has an extremely happy-go-lucky vibe and a friendly demeanour from afar. If you were to observe her when we go for walkies you’d probably laugh. If you’ve dropped into our chat threads here, you’ve seen her in action.

She’s a really funny dog.

However…..unless you’re part of her elite inner circle you are not her friend. You’re a big, fat question mark in her head.

When we encounter a human walking without a dog she’ll be cordial if I stop to chat but she won’t engage. And she doesn’t usually want a dogless human to pet her.

She doesn’t like sudden movements either, especially if the movement is in her direction.

The other night, Dezi and I were inside an elevator riding with a random man. He seemed nice enough, asked what her name was, etc. Then he stepped closer. Keep in mind that we were already in the confined space of an elevator.

I politely asked the man to let Dezi come to him rather than approaching her. I know my dog. She’s 100% fine if she approaches the human by her choice but she doesn’t do well with people making the first move.

This man completely disregarded my request and reached out to pet Dezi. She immediately gave him a cautionary growl. He naively cracked a joke about how women do the same thing to him.

Let’s be honest, I’d snap at a man too, if he tried to pet me without asking.

When the elevator stopped, the man got out on the same floor so I told him to go ahead of us. Dezi is suspicious of people walking closely behind her, too.

The guy gets off, then we get off behind him.

I thought he would just keep walking and be on his merry way but after a few steps, he stopped abruptly, turned around suddenly and reached out AGAIN to try petting her.

It only took a fraction of a second before Dezi lunged toward him and barked, causing him to recoil pretty damn fast.

The whole thing annoyed the crap out of me because if Dezi was a dangerous dog the man could have very well been bitten. Thankfully, I’m aware of her triggers and I keep a tight leash in confined spaces.

Had she snapped at him or worse, whose fault would it be?

Nobody ever sides with the dog and certainly, nobody believes the owner when they swear up and down that their dog isn’t vicious.

Dezi has never bitten anyone and I’m positive she never would unless defending herself, but why do complete strangers feel entitled to test the theory in the first place?

I would NEVER reach out to pet an 85-pound dog I don’t know. Especially if the owner explicitly says DO NOT APPROACH THE DOG!

We dog owners know our dogs. When we explain how to conduct yourself around our dogs we’re not just making it up. It is our responsibility to be alert and aware of our surroundings and inform others accordingly.

It is your responsibility to listen when asked.

So, to the random people out there who feel a need to reach out and touch a dog, PLEASE stop ignoring our warnings. It may not work out in your favor.

It’s for your own safety.

Dezi truly is a happy-go-lucky and friendly dog. She’ll approach and play with any human at the dog park. She’s 100% safe and confident off-leash and she adores other dog moms and dads in our neighborhood.

She’s just highly suspicious of indoor strangers or people who make sudden movements.

I know and trust my dog but as humans, we can never understand what they perceive as threats. Just because one dog might be comfortable loving up on strangers doesn’t mean all dogs are.

Do you have an anxious dog with random triggers?

If so, have you ever encountered humans who cross the line and try engaging without asking?