Yes!! In my Animal Assisted Human Health certification course, I learned about the concept of consent with animals. I’ve been a dog person my whole life, but it wasn’t until 2020, in a specialized course, that someone said to me, “Dogs should be allowed to consent to being pet.”
People definitely don’t think that way about animals (and some people still don’t think that way about other people). Dezi is lucky to have you as a shield against those people.
Chloe, same here. I've been a dog person my whole life, too, but it wasn't til 2020 when I adopted Dezi that I had my first taste of a dog with anxiety and triggers. I love the concept of consent for dogs.
It's been all brand new for me but an incredible learning process for both of us. I need to write so much more about it because it's been fascinating.
Wow. I wonder how many times that guy rudely reaches toward the Dog of Life and gets bit. That behaviour is unwelcome everywhere. He just couldn’t stand the idea that a dog rejected him and had to try again. I bet he’s a treat at work too.
I love dogs on walks. I’ll ignore the owner to give the dog a smile and let them carry on their way without any other action. If they come towards me I let them boop my hand and that’s usually it.
Tim, he's actually a pretty annoying guy lol. He lives on the same floor in my building and he's always kind of boisterous. This was the first time riding the elevator with him.
And I'm the same as you, I pretty much just smile and say hi to dogs unless they come to me. When I'm leash-walking Dezi I take a wide birth around other dog walkers because most of us are out there just trying to train our dogs. At the park it's different, but on leash it's always a training moment!
Definitely an important topic to bring up, Kristi! With the mongrel situation around here, I can't walk Hercules so my husband does. Of course, Jamaicans aren't coming up trying to pet him, lol 🤣🤣 your article reminds me, though, of when I was pregnant with my sons and how random people thought it was ok to come and touch my belly without asking. 🙈 How about we honor consent for touching anyone or anything? Seems so simple. 🙏
Yeah it's complicated with dogs in Jamaica for sure! I was never afraid of them but I've seen ones that definitely warranted being afraid of.
That pregnancy belly thing was SO annoying! I remember that too! Also, I have naturally curly hair and have spent a long life of people touching my hair because it's different. Although, if I ever meet you I'd be sooooo tempted to rub your head. I love the feel of a buzz cut. I used to stroke my son's head all the time after a fresh cut 😂😂
WHEN we meet (just putting it out there, universe!), I give you permission to rub my head, Kristi, if you feel called and it’s still shaved, lol 🤣🤣 I used to pet my son’s hair as well and I still enjoy petting mine! 🤣
I'm going to reveal some bias here, but it's not a shock to me that it was a guy who ignored ALL of your requests and clear directions about not storming right over your dog's perfectly reasonable boundaries. No wonder women treat him the same way — according to him!
That's exactly what I thought, too! Some people are just abrasive no matter which way you slice it. I was low-key proud of Dezi for telling him like it is but also afraid that she would be blamed. Ugh.
My dog Shiloh ranks in the top of our family’s favorites. She loves to play ball, swim, and engage with all of us equally. As a mix breed of herding dog lineage, she is quick to react to perceived threat. She is always on a short leash around other people and dogs. We seek wide circles of space for our safety and safety of others. I find it odd that people don’t want to get bit but don’t want to be rebuffed. Blame happens quickly and few people blame themselves for being disrespectful. Humans can be a strange lot!
Laughing and shaking my head at the same time. This dude is a perfect example of a. someone who has never owned a dog, and b. someone who Dezi knew was a complete dick. Our dogs can sense these things.
For me, it's the stupid parent who allows their kid to pet Apollo without asking me first. I'm the one teaching the kid how to approach a dog and to always ask the owner first.
Most dog owners I see on walks are respectful. I'm usually the one to ask if our dogs can say, Hi. Apollo is always a lovey. Doesn't matter what size the dog is. He's a sweetie. Always friendly even if the other dog growls viciously. Apollo will wag and look at me like, "He's just having a bad day. A bath and a cookie might make him feel better." He's the best. I wish Apollo and Dezi could meet.
Maybe someday they will if I ever decide I can afford my road-tripping life!
And yeah, you're so right about Dezi sizing up this guy correctly. She has a very keen sense because some people she has zero issues with. Others, not so much.
I love that Apollo has that kind of confidence. I sometimes wish Dezi did so we didn't have to "experiment" with every single new situation.
Awww man. That probably happened to a lot of dogs. Mine was born during the pandemic so she NEVER had proper human socialization. But she's the absolute queen of the dog park. That's all we did for months was dog park and road trips.
My dog looks terrifying and is normally let be. She USED to be calm with other dogs, until two of the bigger spaniels came out of their house and attacked her on a walk. I’ve had to do SO MUCH WORK to keep her public-suitable, as she is my SD after all. I still cannot get how people let their dogs pogo, screaming, at the end of their leashes at her. I’d be *mortified*. Then look at us like we’re the problem. We are minding our own damn business silently.
Shelly, I'm so sorry your pup had to experience that. I hate when a dangerous incident fundamentally changes a dog that used to love life. It's not their fault and yet, they're the ones who suffer. And then there's the owners who pretend their dogs are never the problem.
Bumping in to say I had huge, but docile dogs most of my life. It’s instinctive for me to smile when I see a cute canine. I actually gauge the OWNER first as to whether THEY seem approachable, because some appear flat-out aloof or grouchy. After all, this is LA. and that determines whether I just keep walking by. But if the owner seems amiable, my standard comment is if I might carefully say “hello” to their dog. Overall, they seem flattered to let me and I’ve made a few new, four-legged friends in the process. BTW, I saw this post on my way to viewing your unicorn video in my Likes. It’s the darnedest thing that makes me smile and the music gets me
I get what you mean about miserable people. I even encounter those at the dog park which makes NO sense to me. Dog parks are the happiest places on earth!
I’m still grieving the loss of my beautiful, loving, joyful Muttley. He and his bonded friend Odie were perfect companions during early Covid. And Muttley was terrified of men and would bite them to protect himself. And I would tell men that. And I can’t believe the number of men who reached out to pet his head. I am grateful to the compassionate men who didn’t do that and recognized Muttley’s trauma.
You mean, they reached out AFTER you told them that? People are so bold. I wish they had a better understanding that dogs are animals with minds of their own.
Muttley was a corgi/pom mix and adorable with thick blonde fur. But in the presence of men (except my husband, thank goodness) he is terrified; whale eyes, snarling, barking hysterically. Unmistakable fright. In the instance I describe, my husband was holding snarling muttley in his arms, I explained his fear and said “don’t pet him or reach for him or he will bite.” And my neighbor reached right out, Muttley snapped, and fortunately the man backed up in time. Worse, this neighbor has two dogs.
I'm on Dezi's side here. I've worked with dogs my entire adult life and have said on more than one occasion "DO NOT ENGAGE THIS DOG!" People think they are entitled to pet dogs...they aren't. I could go on and on. What I have noticed is that more and more kids know to ask permission to pet a dog, so there is hope.
Holly, I’ve noticed the same! Children are (wisely) being taught by their parents to ASK first which is soooooo important. Not all dogs are bulletproof!
Yes!! In my Animal Assisted Human Health certification course, I learned about the concept of consent with animals. I’ve been a dog person my whole life, but it wasn’t until 2020, in a specialized course, that someone said to me, “Dogs should be allowed to consent to being pet.”
People definitely don’t think that way about animals (and some people still don’t think that way about other people). Dezi is lucky to have you as a shield against those people.
Chloe, same here. I've been a dog person my whole life, too, but it wasn't til 2020 when I adopted Dezi that I had my first taste of a dog with anxiety and triggers. I love the concept of consent for dogs.
It's been all brand new for me but an incredible learning process for both of us. I need to write so much more about it because it's been fascinating.
I can’t wait to read it!
Wow. I wonder how many times that guy rudely reaches toward the Dog of Life and gets bit. That behaviour is unwelcome everywhere. He just couldn’t stand the idea that a dog rejected him and had to try again. I bet he’s a treat at work too.
I love dogs on walks. I’ll ignore the owner to give the dog a smile and let them carry on their way without any other action. If they come towards me I let them boop my hand and that’s usually it.
They aren’t there for my amusement after all
Tim, he's actually a pretty annoying guy lol. He lives on the same floor in my building and he's always kind of boisterous. This was the first time riding the elevator with him.
And I'm the same as you, I pretty much just smile and say hi to dogs unless they come to me. When I'm leash-walking Dezi I take a wide birth around other dog walkers because most of us are out there just trying to train our dogs. At the park it's different, but on leash it's always a training moment!
Definitely an important topic to bring up, Kristi! With the mongrel situation around here, I can't walk Hercules so my husband does. Of course, Jamaicans aren't coming up trying to pet him, lol 🤣🤣 your article reminds me, though, of when I was pregnant with my sons and how random people thought it was ok to come and touch my belly without asking. 🙈 How about we honor consent for touching anyone or anything? Seems so simple. 🙏
Yeah it's complicated with dogs in Jamaica for sure! I was never afraid of them but I've seen ones that definitely warranted being afraid of.
That pregnancy belly thing was SO annoying! I remember that too! Also, I have naturally curly hair and have spent a long life of people touching my hair because it's different. Although, if I ever meet you I'd be sooooo tempted to rub your head. I love the feel of a buzz cut. I used to stroke my son's head all the time after a fresh cut 😂😂
WHEN we meet (just putting it out there, universe!), I give you permission to rub my head, Kristi, if you feel called and it’s still shaved, lol 🤣🤣 I used to pet my son’s hair as well and I still enjoy petting mine! 🤣
Bahahaha!! Best thing I've read all day...on all points! WHEN indeed!
I'm going to reveal some bias here, but it's not a shock to me that it was a guy who ignored ALL of your requests and clear directions about not storming right over your dog's perfectly reasonable boundaries. No wonder women treat him the same way — according to him!
That's exactly what I thought, too! Some people are just abrasive no matter which way you slice it. I was low-key proud of Dezi for telling him like it is but also afraid that she would be blamed. Ugh.
I’m with Jan. I’m starting to worry about your safety with this guy on the same floor. Be careful!
I hardly ever see him. Plus, I'm moving in a month or so lol. Dezi finally gets her own yard!
Wonderful!
My dog Shiloh ranks in the top of our family’s favorites. She loves to play ball, swim, and engage with all of us equally. As a mix breed of herding dog lineage, she is quick to react to perceived threat. She is always on a short leash around other people and dogs. We seek wide circles of space for our safety and safety of others. I find it odd that people don’t want to get bit but don’t want to be rebuffed. Blame happens quickly and few people blame themselves for being disrespectful. Humans can be a strange lot!
Laughing and shaking my head at the same time. This dude is a perfect example of a. someone who has never owned a dog, and b. someone who Dezi knew was a complete dick. Our dogs can sense these things.
For me, it's the stupid parent who allows their kid to pet Apollo without asking me first. I'm the one teaching the kid how to approach a dog and to always ask the owner first.
Most dog owners I see on walks are respectful. I'm usually the one to ask if our dogs can say, Hi. Apollo is always a lovey. Doesn't matter what size the dog is. He's a sweetie. Always friendly even if the other dog growls viciously. Apollo will wag and look at me like, "He's just having a bad day. A bath and a cookie might make him feel better." He's the best. I wish Apollo and Dezi could meet.
Maybe someday they will if I ever decide I can afford my road-tripping life!
And yeah, you're so right about Dezi sizing up this guy correctly. She has a very keen sense because some people she has zero issues with. Others, not so much.
I love that Apollo has that kind of confidence. I sometimes wish Dezi did so we didn't have to "experiment" with every single new situation.
Come visit. 🥰
COVID ruined my previously well socialized pup. Now, anxiety abounds. . .
Awww man. That probably happened to a lot of dogs. Mine was born during the pandemic so she NEVER had proper human socialization. But she's the absolute queen of the dog park. That's all we did for months was dog park and road trips.
My dog looks terrifying and is normally let be. She USED to be calm with other dogs, until two of the bigger spaniels came out of their house and attacked her on a walk. I’ve had to do SO MUCH WORK to keep her public-suitable, as she is my SD after all. I still cannot get how people let their dogs pogo, screaming, at the end of their leashes at her. I’d be *mortified*. Then look at us like we’re the problem. We are minding our own damn business silently.
Shelly, I'm so sorry your pup had to experience that. I hate when a dangerous incident fundamentally changes a dog that used to love life. It's not their fault and yet, they're the ones who suffer. And then there's the owners who pretend their dogs are never the problem.
Bumping in to say I had huge, but docile dogs most of my life. It’s instinctive for me to smile when I see a cute canine. I actually gauge the OWNER first as to whether THEY seem approachable, because some appear flat-out aloof or grouchy. After all, this is LA. and that determines whether I just keep walking by. But if the owner seems amiable, my standard comment is if I might carefully say “hello” to their dog. Overall, they seem flattered to let me and I’ve made a few new, four-legged friends in the process. BTW, I saw this post on my way to viewing your unicorn video in my Likes. It’s the darnedest thing that makes me smile and the music gets me
every time. Thanks!
Awww that unicorn will live forever 😁😁
I get what you mean about miserable people. I even encounter those at the dog park which makes NO sense to me. Dog parks are the happiest places on earth!
Great article on respecting a dog’s boundaries and behavior.
Thanks Heidi 😊
I have learned to always ask. I have to say I get sad and sometimes even confused by people who say “no.” I absolutely respect their “no,” though.
And your newsletter has helped me understand why. Thank you for sharing this.
I'm glad Jodi. Sometimes the NO isn't really a no, it's an owner showing up responsibly. 😊
I’m still grieving the loss of my beautiful, loving, joyful Muttley. He and his bonded friend Odie were perfect companions during early Covid. And Muttley was terrified of men and would bite them to protect himself. And I would tell men that. And I can’t believe the number of men who reached out to pet his head. I am grateful to the compassionate men who didn’t do that and recognized Muttley’s trauma.
You mean, they reached out AFTER you told them that? People are so bold. I wish they had a better understanding that dogs are animals with minds of their own.
Muttley was a corgi/pom mix and adorable with thick blonde fur. But in the presence of men (except my husband, thank goodness) he is terrified; whale eyes, snarling, barking hysterically. Unmistakable fright. In the instance I describe, my husband was holding snarling muttley in his arms, I explained his fear and said “don’t pet him or reach for him or he will bite.” And my neighbor reached right out, Muttley snapped, and fortunately the man backed up in time. Worse, this neighbor has two dogs.
Maaaaan, I just don't understand humans 😐
I'm on Dezi's side here. I've worked with dogs my entire adult life and have said on more than one occasion "DO NOT ENGAGE THIS DOG!" People think they are entitled to pet dogs...they aren't. I could go on and on. What I have noticed is that more and more kids know to ask permission to pet a dog, so there is hope.
Holly, I’ve noticed the same! Children are (wisely) being taught by their parents to ASK first which is soooooo important. Not all dogs are bulletproof!
Aaarga waaarga! (Attribution to Russell Hoban - “Riddley Walker”.)