Your Dog Is Constantly Plotting New Ways To Train You
It's amazing how quickly a dog can learn when it benefits them.
Dogs are pretty ridiculous, aren’t they? Don’t think for one second that they don’t have you pegged the instant they become part of your life.
For as often as you think you’re training them they’re sitting over in the corner plotting new ways to train YOU.
Based on personal experience, I believe a dog can learn a desired behavior in ONE try. But the catch is they need to figure out how much it benefits them to do so. Once they realize the benefit, they’ve got you right where they want you.
This post is mostly about my clown-dog, Dezi, but I suspect you could just “insert dog name” and we’d be talking about you and yours.
My one-try dog learning theory.
My dog is four years old and if she has proven anything in her short life, it’s that she knows exactly how to train humans. Once she has figured out the hidden bonuses (or lack thereof) it becomes her choice whether or not she will perform.
Tricks
Dezi knows every trick in the book. She learned them swiftly and eagerly with the help of high-value treats. High fives, shot dead, sitting pretty, weaving through my legs, left and right, etc. You name it, she knows it.
But the one thing she refuses to do? She will not roll over on command.
Trust me, I’ve tried every YouTube training hack on the internet. She will NOT roll over, even though she’s basically halfway there when playing dead.
The funny thing is that she’ll roll over 724 times on an average outing at the dog park. She even does somersaults down hills so it’s not like she doesn’t know the logistics of it. Each time she rolls at the dog park I yell “ROLL OVER!” hoping to drill it into her brain.
She’s aware the stunt has a name but since no treats are given for her dog park rolls, she refuses to learn the command.
Car rides
Have you ever tossed treats into the back seat to encourage your dog to get in the car? I have. And now she refuses to get in without them.
We drive to the dog park every single day. One would think the park IS the reward but, nope. Dezi stands there looking at me like I have three heads when I expect her to get in without a treat toss.
Sprinklers
Don’t tell me you haven’t noticed that your dog never forgot what a sprinkler was after the first time they dove into one.
For Dezi, it was the summer of 2021 in the middle of a heatwave. It was her first summer as a grown dog which meant it was also her first time seeing such a contraption.
The minute we stepped outside of our complex there it was. A sprinkler powerful enough to irrigate a small farm.
She had no idea how to approach the gizmo making its loud FFTTT…FFTTT…FFTTT racket but she sure wanted to try!
Once she was near enough, a few stray droplets of water hit her nose and she instantly realized this was her alleviation from the sweltering heat. After that, she was ALL IN and there was no going back.
Garden hoses
After the first sprinkler affair, she suddenly became interested in random people holding hoses in their yards. Why not beg for a little spray and see what happens?
After ONE successful try, Dezi now knows the exact addresses where people have obliged her. When we pass those houses now, she longingly stands there gazing at their windows as if she can hypnotize people out of their homes to turn on the hose.
This has now become a game in our community and a nice social break on our walks. When the neighbors see us coming they roll out their hoses and give her a drink.
Tennis courts
In the summer of 2022, Dezi learned a new neighborhood game.
Whenever we passed by the tennis courts she’d walk up to the chain-link fence, sit down, and candidly ping-pong her head back and forth, watching whoever was playing.
One guy made the mistake of launching a ball over the fence for her and now? Every time we pass the courts she sits down and whines until someone throws her a ball.
We currently have a collection of balls the International Tennis Federation would be jealous of.
So, there you have it. Proof that your partner in crime might actually be the one training you. I’ll be the first sucker to admit it.
PS: If any real dog trainers are reading this and you can make my dog roll over on command, I’ll send you my address!
I'm convinced that my dog is having fun tricking me. There's a spot on one of our walking routes where sometimes he wants to go straight, and sometimes he wants to turn right. If it's right, he'll stop until I start leading him in that direction. Lately, though, he'll stop, and when I start to go right, he won't go. Then I continue straight and he hops to it with an expression that to me looks like "Gotcha!"
I used to be a dog trainer and I can't tell you how many times I've said to the owners "Well, s/he's got you well trained!" :-)